Drunken Wu Tang
Review
Format: Dubbed VHS
Stars: Yan Sai Kune, Liu Hao Yee (??)

The god has to be appeased, and a group of the wu tang clan (I think) has discovered that in order to do this, a cherry boy (virgin I guess) has to be found in order to give a sacrifice. In the meantime, Old Devil is looking for the secret document, which can be found in the hall of the watermelon monster.

Seriously, this is the plot. And if there's any more to it, I have no clue what it is. But really, this is one of those movies that has to be watched with tons of friends ready for a laugh. I don't know if they were trying to be serious in this movie or what, but whatever happened, it's funny, full of REDICULOUS wirework and stupid props like missiles and a ball that has little balls inside, and flies too. People fly like paper cut outs on sticks and teleport across the screen, hover on walls and use scarfs with coins on the ends as weapons, and there's even a ball with a mouth that fights, at random it seems. All of it is extremely funny and for this reason I find it one of the most entertaining movies I've ever seen because it's so terrible. Even the dubbing is bad, which is great. And what fights there are (without wires) are actually out of the two-beat mode and faster than normal. Good stuff.

To give an example of the silliness of Drunken Wu Tang, think about this. Old Devil flies into Charlie's room (that's his name). So he and Charlie have a little 2 second exchange of fists and blocks, and Charlie backs up and, horizontally, climbs up his drapes, but is sadly kicked down. He gets up and there's some flying across the room a few times until Charlie's grandma appears. She slides two desks into Old Devil which conviently trap him between the two, then they break apart and the legs become straps around him. This is to the advantage of grandma because she grabs a 5 foot long sword, which is also probably a foot wide, and goes after Old Devil. Unfortunately, Old Devil jumps up and she destroys the desks that held him there so well. Charlie escapes, and Old Devil appears in a room with a line of lava in the middle and 2 walls that are squeezing in on him. Using his kung fu logic, he just spins horizontally all the way down the hallway to avoid the disaster. Aha! He made it to the secret chamber where there's a secret document. But right when he gets in, 12 gates of bamboo close in on him and trap him inside a box, but since he's Old Devil, he can fly in a circle and break the box. After this, the watermelon monster attacks, and tries to drain his energy using its tentacles made of television antennae. Then he rolls away into his cubby. Finally, grandma comes in and attacks with a big tobacco pipe.

Great movie. Sadly, there were about 50 minutes total of silliness, and had the entire movie been that way I'd say that you needed this one the way you need water. But, since it IS so damn stupid, get it anyways. We found it at Walgreens for nine bucks. This is the stupidity that should be in all the old kung fu movies.

Rating: 9/10

UPDATE 10/9 - Rating System Change

4/5 - The epitome of wire fu craziness.

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