Buddha Assassinator
10/14/00
Review
Format: Dubbed VHS
Stars: Meng Hoi, Chien Yuet San, Hwang Jang Lee

A boy in the Ching dynasty wants to get a job at the royal palace. In addition, he wants the support of his uncle, Uncle Sam (probably Sam the Seed, played by Chien Yuet San), who wants to learn the Lohan Fist. The Ching Dynasty official, played by Lee, knows this fist, and Meng Hoi learns it as well to teach his uncle, also his master, who in turn teaches him the Buddhist Fist. The two styles battle it out.

A boring as hell movie until the second half. Meng Hoi gets beaten up a few times, nothing else really. There is one part, though, where Meng Hoi and Uncle Sam get into a fight in a gambling house after one of those silly gambling tricks that Meng Hoi tries to get away with. Typical two beat fighting, but Hoi does a few acrobatics, and at one point he's getting dog piled by everybody in the room, and smart ol' Uncle Sam thinks he can help things by jumping onto the top of it all from the balcony. Hmm.



There's a small demonstration in the beginning ruined by bad color, and the Shaolin Dolemite (I hate this Rudy Ray Moore guy) label makes it into such a terrible picture quality that I want to squirm looking for a brick to put through the tube. But Lee is impressive, as I would expect. He shows off the Lohan Fist, with the three elements of sleepiness, madness, _______. Some great acrobatics, like a kep up and then a backflip off the wall, lots of falls (during the sleep one), and Lee kicks with the best of them (but tends to favor his right leg... who cares though). If I'm correct, there's one small part where he's in the madness mode, farts, laughs, and goes into laughter. Thought it was funny. It's entertaining, but they could have colors other than red, green, and blue. Have a look for yourself...



Hoi has to fight Lee to get more style information for Uncle Sam. Lee is good here too, and this time he calls out the moves like the flying horse kick (a sub style), catching the eagle (which is another sub style), and the dragon stance (yet another sub style). Cool stuff. Hoi does acrobatics helplessly. Lee is good looking as anyone could predict. Although it's two beat, it's martial arts and you know what's happening.



Hoi goes to Uncle Sam to teach some more Lohan moves, and he messes up everything he learned and it's cool recognizing the stuff that was in the last fight. Uncle Sam teaches Hoi some Buddhist Fist moves after he does some acrobatics and cool maneuvering techniques. Still two beat, again, but this Chien Yuet San is good looking even though he's as ugly as all hell (he plays a buddhist abbott too!)



Hoi fights two guys who both have some weapons and looks tough. He's in surprisingly good shape too (he takes his shirt off), and I thought he'd be all pudgy judging by his face and everything. But this isn't anything awesome. Hoi does acrobatics. He does this fight twice, also. The second time is later on and more impressive, but it's weapons vs. body which is boring to me.

Chien Yuet San fights Lee to prove that his Buddhist Fist is better. San is good, so is Lee, Lee doesn't use many kicks or memorable moves, San does some acrobatics, but it's a bland fight that has basically 3 different camera angles that cycle through the whole thing, yea yea anyways.



San teaches Hoi about the Buddhist Fist to counter the Lohan Style. A cool training scene because San goes into the elements of the Fist, which are water, earth, fire, metal, and wood. Hoi is impressive, very acrobatic and does a good job with the 5 elements making each one look professional. He's fun to watch because you wouldn't think that he was capable of it all, but he is. Almost reminds me of another Sammo Hung (not as big of course).

The last fight is 10 minutes long!! Hoi fights Lee the entire time, each of them are great looking. Usually Lee fights against wimps, but Hoi is a tough little one. Hoi uses each of the elements, all of them at once at the end, and Lee uses all 3 of his, in succession and they all look great. Music plays (probably dubbed), but it ain't half bad because it's that classical finale kind. The entire fight is in motion, there is no stop to it. When I was watching it I forgot it was going for so long. Impressive to say the least. The movie ends about 5 seconds after the fight when Hoi jumps away to his master, who you don't even see again. Hmm.



Overall this is another two beat movie, but it's a little better than just that. The action isn't breathtaking, but there is some martial arts philosophy involved that I got into really easily and enjoyed. I'd recommend to anyone who likes the old style movies, but if you're lurking for serious action, I wouldn't watch this because you might fall asleep. You have to really get into it. I liked it. Didn't love it, but I liked it. One other thing. I heard that this was one of the best two beaters out there, why wasn't it? I also heard that I was supposed to see stuff like Talon Fist and Eagle's Claw. ???

3/5

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